Behold January offenders
Flimsy
What happened to all the pants and leggings in the world? Someone please help us because this is certainly not style. You ended up making our lives miserable with that flimsy top. It is punishable under Section 345(67a). Pay N1.5million fine.
On the loose!
Your mammary glands are on the loose again. The style riot act says: “Any part of the body that is intentionally exposed to the detriment of the opposite sex shall be confiscated.” You were also caught trying to tamper with the evidence at the style crime scene. You are to remain in our custody until further notice.
Desperado!
Do you remember the case of Mini Vs Sheer Fabric we handled two years ago? This is similar because we didn't need to try too hard before we caught a glimpse of your goldmine. What happens if Hurricane Katrina decides to pay you a visit? Well, let's leave that for another day. Pay a fine of N2.5million.
No-no
Girlfriend, haven't you heard about the strapless solution? We hate to see such carelessness in public. However, because you're a first time offender, we will temper justice with mercy. Go and sin no more.
Sheer nonsense
Haba! Must you wear your lace underwear as a top? Your attorney tried explaining to this court that this is actually trendy. Well, we agree but you should have known better and wear the fabric more decently. We hereby dismiss your lawyer's argument and if he is not more careful next time, we will strip him of his SANship. You have been fined
N1million.
Harsh packaging
Aside the fact that you made your tits miserable by placing them forcibly into that dress, you also went on to expose them to harsh weather conditions. This is punishable under the cleavage packaging code of section 46. Pay a fine of N900,000.
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